I remember one day back in sixth grade my teacher accused me of lying, and gave me an "infraction slip", it was the first time I ever was in "big" trouble, in front of the class; one other time in elementary school I got a "white" slip for not doing homework. The thing is, I did not lie, I had accidentally written the wrong date in my "book log", it appeared I had read a book in one day, instead of the week it actually took, but the teacher insisted I was lying. It upset me so much I actually was visibly shaking and tearing up, but he did not care. A half hour later, when I was able to cool down and explain myself, he said this remark "your family must never trust you for you to act this way" thankfully he never sent the slip to "the office". I am still not sure what he meant by the remark, but I was an emotional wreck the rest of the day. That day I did discover something though, I hated confrontation, I was wrongly accused and I wouldn't even stand up for myself when I knew it was wrong.
Today I am not the same, I have this strange thrill with confrontations, not the "screaming and yelling" kind, which thankfully do not arise much in my life, but the "this is not right, so I am going to do something about it" kind. This clicked a few years ago when I was still figuring out who God was and who he wanted me to be, so my reaction was not God honoring. On a rather strange day, back in band class the music instructor and some of the upperclassman (which included myself, it was my junior year) were having a disagreement about how a piece should sound. Our instructor wanted to play it one way, while we felt it sounded better the way it was written to be played. He basically said to our senior trumpet player "Tim, do you think their's a problem?" and he replied "no, not really, but…" and was cut off, then he turned to my friend (who started the argument) "Cindi, see, now lets move on" I was furious! I called him a donkey's butt hole (but in a much stronger way), and he asked me "what did you say?!" (even before I was Christian, I hardly swore to an adult, except my parents) and I said "you’re an @#$@%@$%" and he was, of course, floored, and I was assigned detention for the first time in my life. The detention was a joke, it never happened, because I finagled my way out of it by doing some extra work for the band director… worst of all, I was the band president that year, wasn't I a great remodel.
I am more balanced in my approach of "fairness". However, I have noticed many people are walked over by the "powers that be" here in Poland. It is very sad to see my friends being controlled, and upset that things are not fair, but they are terrified to stand up, this is one direct problem coming from communism. I am noticing my passionate responses of "that's unjust, why do you allow it to happen?" just gets the response of "because it's always been that way", this upsets me, but I am not sure how to show them God's freedom from crud like this. God only knows how to play the game of life and living.
Your throne, O God, endures forever and ever. Your royal power is expressed in justice. [PS 45:6]
Then let the heavens proclaim his justice, for God himself will be the judge. [PS 50:6]
Justice--do you rulers know the meaning of the word? Do you judge the people fairly? [PS 58:1]
The wicked accept secret bribes to pervert justice. [Prov 17:23]
Look at my Servant, whom I have chosen. He is my Beloved, and I am very pleased with him. I will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations. [Matt 12:18]
