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Wednesday, May 24, 2006


I'm finally making some changes around here… I like the layout, but I'm ready for a new paint job. I'm thinking something that says "a hike in the mountains". Wait and see.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Can't wait to have a place of my own again.

Listening to: Everyday - SONICFLOOd
My laptop randomly chooses pictures from my large assortment of pictures over the years, currently a very nice picture of my old apartment is set as my wallpaper, and I miss that place! As I think back to those days I remember a time when life had a steady pace. I worked Monday - Friday, and had the same activities weekly on the same days, and those days that didn't have anything I always had people to call or I always had a place to go home to be by myself. These days I live with 10-15 other people at all times (right now I'm the only one downstairs though, it is quite nice) and after two years of this I am certainly ready to have a place to call "home" again, of course this time Alexis will be with me and a whole new atmosphere will be built, but that's okay, I'm so looking forward to it. I have a lot of ideas for our new place, and so does Alexis (our invitations have TMA, for Travis Mielonen Alexis, I laughed today when Alexis said it stood for "too much attitude", pretty true when it comes to decisions such as how to decorate the house).

Anyway, my prayer request is that when we get back from Europe I can find a job quick enough that Alexis and I can get a new place fairly quick, right now it's a little hard applying for jobs since we'll be gone for seven weeks. If I don't find a job quickly we'll need to stay somewhere for real cheap, like $300 or less (and that's pushing it if we want to keep up on our regular bills) until I get a job. We have our eyes on some townhouses right here in downtown Gresham, they go for $710/month, two stories, one ½ baths, two bedroom, quite nice, tot real big, but big enough. Please pray for this, thanks!

Sunday, May 21, 2006


Listening to: Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

I think I may have God induced exhaustion. What I mean is that I have been so physically exhausted the past few days that I am finding myself doing some things that I really enjoy, and I am totally hearing from God. At the same time temptations have been strong. But this entire season the words for me have been "endurance" and "perseverance", everyday I have to lean on God for the strength to resist temptations, endure frustrations, and persevere in speaking truth to the lies that I deal with.

I feel the edge of passion returning, a sacred kind of passion, and an incredible return to that first honeymoon of my salvation. Amazing grace that is what this is.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Broken on my knees

Listening to: Love Song for a Savior - Jars of Clay

I need to be broken and on my knees. I was going through my song library when I came upon Jars of Clay "World's apart". Boy have I been a world apart from the "honeymoon" of my salvation; the exciting time where every chord of worship, every word of a sermon, and every conversation about God would carry on for hours and hours; where people from six different churches would simply come together to fellowship, worship together, pray for each other in public. Life seemed to ooze with Jesus. However, this honeymoon isn't called a honeymoon for no reason; it is was just that… now I'm walking in a marriage with Him, the Lord and Savior of the world. And as in all marriages it takes many intentional decisions, working through the "feelings" and moving into an unconditional loving (<--- that is not a mistake). Here are the words of "Worlds apart"
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high
And like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
To give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin
Of One who loves
More deeply than the oceans
More abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood
And water flow
To love You take my world apart
To need You I am on my knees
To love You take my world apart
To need You broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did You really have to die for me
All I am for all You are
Because what I need and what I believe
Are worlds apart

Friday, May 19, 2006

An assurance

I have had some anxious thoughts over the past month about where I'm headed. These thoughts started as questions about my calling, my upcoming marriage, friends, ministry, etc. However, whenever I thought about "quitting" any of these things I just had a twist in my stomach that yelled "no". I know that God is using these things to challenge me, push me, and strengthen me into the man he wants me to be. I have a peace, an assurance that the path I am heading is the way.

The discouragement, the lies, the lack of motivation has certainly had me in a slow walk, but I do not see this as bad. I see this past quarter as a time where God has wanted me, albeit hard, and at times very discouraging, and the enemy has certainly played with these thoughts. God has known though that I would turn to Him for the truth, and in return I have received His truth, His grace, and His love in all of those areas.

Then I received some reassurance just before I began to write this… I loaded up and took a look at the verse of the day it was "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."- James 3:17-18 NIV. I have been leaning on heaven's wisdom, wisdom that surpasses human understanding; even though at times God has caught me straying away from this. Every time I find myself anxious and wanting to dishonor God, another person, or myself, I come to the choice of leaning on Him. I choose to be meek, that is, I choose to be wisely, strongly, humble before my Lord, Savior, and God. This is the assurance we all have in Christ Jesus, the assurance that when we choose Him, the Kingdom of Heaven touches earth, and his will is done, just as it is in heaven.