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Sunday, January 11, 2004

boundaries

For the past five weeks, our sermons have been on creating, maintaining, and our boundaries. I have personally learned quite a bit from this series, such as knowing where my boundaries are, when to let someone know they are pushing my boundaries, and how to make my boundaries clear. All of the principles come from the "Boundaries" book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I cannot begin to cover all of the material, but I highly recommend anyone, especially anyone who is easily hurt, to read this book.

Some of the things I have learned about myself deal with my failure to say NO to things I know I can do, but really dislike. Such as failing to say NO to someone who wants me do computer work for a "dinner", some kind of trade, or a ridiculously low hourly wage, and I say yes because I do not want to sound greedy. I do not know why I ever did work for people like this; it made me cranky, and less valuable to them, and others they would recommend me to. It also took up time, and brought in hardly any extra cash, maybe enough for an extra tank of gas. After a while I started saying no to everyone, and I would only volunteer myself on tasks and projects I knew I could enjoy, and I was in control. I am now able, after this series, to feel when something is approaching my boundary and I need to say no, instead of saying yes, then breaking down.

Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. [Matt 5:37 NIV]