food for fish

Friends.

Friends are forever if the Lord is the Lord of them... I believe this is so true in ALL relationships. If Jesus is the Lord of your life and, the center of your relationships with people then you NEVER should have to worry about those relationships going bad. Now we are all human, we all make mistakes, but as a Christian we know these things, we continue to love people for those reasons. I Love every one of my friends more every day! I may get annoyed or upset with someone but I still love the person, I will never get mad at someone enough to drop them as a friend, I will keep on loving, seeking, and wanting to grow with that person forever. This is all true because these are all the things that God does in our lives, he will always continue to seek after you, grow after you and love you forever no matter what you do. I will always do the same for him, and the same with all my friends! I love everyone. So just remember that I love all of you, and I will always love you no matter what you do to me, or how I act, or whatever.

Now onto another subject.

Am I untouchable? Do I put of this "don't touch me" aura? I'm just wondering... It just seems that sometimes everyone else gets a hug and I get a handshake... sometimes not even a handshake. I know I have issues in this area, but I don't know how to stop it. It really hurts to see others get hugs and for other guys to be flirted with, and i'm just kind of ignored, or just smiled at... do I smell? (j/k) I mean, what is it? This is really bothering me, I may not ever actually talk about this, because sometimes I feel like it's in my head.... A lot of the time I feel awkward when I go to hug someone, and a lot of times i'm an idiot and I shove my shoulder up someones nose, or something stupid like that. There have been a few times where I have gone home almost crying because everyone else had the hugs except me... :( Now I know a lot of this might be me being over analyzing... but I think there are some valid points. Please help me in knowing this. I mean, sheesh something... Like I said I know I have issues in this area, I feel really awkward with girls, mostly because I don't really want them to think I like them more, or i'm afraid they'll think I like them, and reject me, as a friend or boyfriend, doesn't matter they'll just reject because i'm ugly or something. There's a lot of other reasons i'm messed up in this area, I just pray that it's resolved soon, and i'm writing all of this so that you'll all know, and that maybe you might understand. I've been told before that I do put off a "don't want to be touched" type of thing... I really don't mean to! I have no idea why this comes out... some sort of defense mechanism I think, but I don't like it! So, never feel afraid to hug or touch me... I want to work in this area, i'll never reject it... I like (not in that way you sicko!) it. This is one of my next goals, is to figure this thing out, please help, if you want. :-) I love you!