food for fish

So, I have this problem with taking compliments sometimes... I realize I'm a little rude sometimes, I don't say thanks, and I either laugh at the person, or respond with some kind of humor. What's the deal with that? I'm still stuck with this image of my self in seventh grade, acne covered face, hair parted down the middle, almost the shortest person on campus, and kind of a loner (my two best friends at that time had decided to not be my friends at the start of the year). I know I'm nothing like that person anymore, I have confidence, and I can actually communicate with the opposite gender now, not to mention my own gender.

So, why can I not accept a compliment on my physical appearance? I know why I have a hard time letting people serve me, because I know I'm capable of doing whatever they are trying to help me with, or I know I can afford what ever their trying to pay for, I should just be grateful for these things, but instead I feel like I'm using them or something. But when it comes to my physical appearance, I usually don't believe them, I think they are just trying to be nice, because that's how it was in Junior High... oh wait, oh yeah I'm not in Junior High anymore... Duh... people are honest now... uh huh, right. I know that the majority of my friends really are honest, and would tell me if something looked bad on me, or would comment if I did my hair weird, since I'm always asking, I would hope they would actually care to let me know if it looked really bad, it wouldn't make me mad or sad, I would be glad. I guess I've just let the vain cosmopolitan world leak in... I don't obsess over it though, I really don't, I'll go to work or school knowing I look dead, but I don�t care. But if someone compliments me, then that's another story I care all of a sudden, is this real? So, I don't know, I need to realize that it is real. I like to look nice, I like to feel clean, and I like to be noticed, who doesn't? I just need to try and not make that something I worry about, for the most part I don't, but every once and while I do, and its not a good thing.

Paul's Thanks for Their Gifts [Philippians 4:10-20]

How grateful I am, and how I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but for a while you didn't have the chance to help me. Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. But even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.
As you know, you Philippians were the only ones who gave me financial help when I brought you the Good News and then traveled on from Macedonia. No other church did this. Even when I was in Thessalonica you sent help more than once. I don't say this because I want a gift from you. What I want is for you to receive a well-earned reward because of your kindness.
At the moment I have all I need--more than I need! I am generously supplied with the gifts you sent me with Epaphroditus. They are a sweet-smelling sacrifice that is acceptable to God and pleases him. And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Now glory be to God our Father forever and ever. Amen.