food for fish

Hello all welcome to the continuing saga of me, I�ve been trying to make this site a place of encouragement, and at least that was my original intention. So� I�m at a lost for words right now, I feel like I�ve let my self down in this endeavor. But this is just a sign of how I�ve been feeling the last few weeks, like a let down. I�ve put these expectations on my self; all I want to do is make relationships with people, which screams Christ. But I always feel like this doesn�t happen. I�m either not outgoing enough, or I never steer the conversations to Christ; I never let myself have the opportunity.

I don�t believe there is a �pinnacle� to Christianity, but what happens when you reach the point that all you want to do is share Christ with people, and to serve? What�s next? Now I know I�m almost 21, and I have a lot more to learn, but right now I feel like I�m camping� I�m growing spiritually, I�m learning a lot, things are going great in my life, but what else can I do? The scary thing is� full time ministry? I�ve been so against the idea for so long, mostly because I feel like, how can I do anything to reach the �pre-Christ� if I�m around Christians all the time? Okay, so I need to pray, I don�t know what else to do.

And the last thing; I have spent much time fretting over the idea of my brother being baptized. Has he really made the decision from his heart to follow Christ? Is he just doing it because people have told him? Why? I called him on Friday hoping that he would go to the show that night, but he never returned my call� big surprise. So I�ve decided to just pray about it, try to talk to him about it, and let Jesus do the rest of the work. But until that day Feb 16th, I�m going to be full of anxiety.

.: prayers, prayer requests :.

God you are so awesome, you do things in such strange ways, but they are the perfect way.
God I ask for you to just give me a peace, or lead me in the direction I should be going in respect to my brother and family.
God please help me change to show your glory in all I do, I want to honor you in all I do.
God I thank you for just being there at all times, showing yourself, and I thank you more than anything that my brother and family are opening up to you.
God, you know my heart, you know my ideas, I just ask for you to make clear what I need to do, help me to encourage people all the time, I want to shine for you!