food for fish

You�ve got to check this place out, especially if you have a laptop with a wireless adapter � Free internet! Yes that�s right free, although you should probably buy a drink so you can always have this place around. Check it out� I�m here right now with Alexis, and she likes it, and I like it, so life is happy� there are a couple of locations, shorelines is the closest to the �mill creek� sphere of influence. Who wants to go to the fair today? I�m going later with a big group, give me a call. See ya later!

Check out there website (when it goes back online): http://www.hotwirecoffee.com/

Well, I know I have, and if you associate with other humans in any manner, at some time you�ve been disappointed. My problem is when I put expectations on people, ones which I never really tell them, nor do I do anything which will actually have them meet those expectations. Nope instead I expect things to happen like magic, as if what I�m hoping they will do is being broadcast from my brain or something. So last night, I had this expectation at my �going away party�, I really wanted to talk about God, and get into some deep meaningful conversation, but I never prompted anything in that direction because I never found the right time, plus I was distracted by the fact everyone was at my place, so I had to be the host. Long and short of the story is, I was disappointed I really want some prayer time, some good conversation and have last night be an uplifting night of real down to earth Christian fellowship, instead what I got was disappointment, and it�s all my fault. I have nothing against those who came, I am very happy that all of them came, and I�m glad to see them, it just wasn�t what I wanted� so I guess I was being selfish, and instead of seizing the moment, I just sat there expecting something to come from nothing. Once again, I�m not mad at anyone, not even my self, just frustrated at myself for not doing what I wanted.

Today I had lunch with an old friend, granted he�s four years younger than me, which makes him 17, but in all the years we�ve known each other (about five, and four of those as good friends) the age difference has never been more than a little joke. Plus, this particular friend of mine, is a foot taller than me, at 6�6� he sort of towers over me, but once again, just small jokes have been the outcome of that. His name is Ross, and he is one of the most important people in my life. He�s the son of my first pastor, so he�s a �pastor�s kid� or �PK�, but he�s not anything like the stereo type, not at all. I�ve had hundreds of good conversations with him, from stupid guy things, family things, church stuff, people, prayer, and God. I�ve seen him grow both spiritually and physically, when I met him, he was shorter than me, and I may have only grown an inch or two since I�ve known him.

I realized today, that God has blessed me with some of the most amazing people, his parents have taught me, and guided me over the past few years, and he has shown me what it is to be searching. Of course as any good friends have, we have argued, been mad at each other, and have cried over each other. Today, we talked, although it was not a happy talk, since I�m leaving soon, we reminisced, and he told me what was up in his life, and his family�s, and I shared all about mine too. We are both heading into the unknown, and I pray for the very best of protection, wisdom, and guidance for Ross, and his family. Thank you God for Ross, I am very proud of him.

And I�m asking for all of you who know Ross, and those who don�t, keep the Gomes� in your prayers, ask for God�s wisdom in their lives, and intercession of his power to protect them, Don, Heidi, and Ross all need protection from the enemy right now. Pray for Heidi, she had surgery last year for cervical cancer, and with that they did a full hysterectomy, which has caused a chemical unbalance and her emotions are being effected, pray for healing, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In Jesus� name,


So be it.

See part of the city i'm going to live in... Isn't it "cute". It's called Zakopane (pronouced "Zako pon").

That is how I feel right now, I�m learning to breathe, into a relationship that is. Yesterday Alexis and I were in the car heading to my place, where we eventually had dinner with Josh and Erin (which was totally rad, but I don�t have the time to give details). Well we were sharing about our days and such, and I was telling her about the guy which is taking my place at work. He�s a good guy, has good skills, and I think will be a good replacement. Anyway, I was telling her how I had hoped (and prayed) my replacement would be Christian, but that didn�t (or maybe hasn�t) happened. At one point I was quoting something he said about his wife�s commute from Seattle (they live in Carnation, about 30 miles east of Seattle) and he said his wife liked to complain but he used slightly more colorful language that that, referring to her as speaking like a female dog. Well, I chose to quote word for word what he said, thinking to just quote isn�t really anything. Well this was the first time Alexis has her me curse, even though it was �just� quoting, it didn�t sit to well with her. At first I really didn�t see anything wrong, I wasn�t convicted of anything, and I really didn�t understand. But she said �Why use it at all, you can get the same point across w/o using that word�, she had a point. So, after a while of going and back and fourth in my mind, I came to this conclusion: If it isn�t uplifting and encouraging to those around me, it shouldn�t be said. Much like what Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 8 and choosing to eat food offered to idols. I must realize that what I think is okay, is sometimes not okay to others, and I shouldn�t argue those things, unless it is against scripture. So, I continue to learn, more and more.

That is how I should be living my life right now, sometimes I am, but a find myself thinking and dreaming of the future, quite often. I need to set my sights on the realities of heaven, yet I also need to do what needs to be done here on Earth. I have four days left of working for the school district, and eleven days until I leave for Poland. I need to slow down, make a (another) list, and just get life going.

For some reason I feel the need to post the lyrics from one of my favorite praise songs�

What to say Lord?
It's You who gave me life and I
Can't explain just how
Much You mean to me now
That You have saved me Lord
I give all that I am to You
That everyday I can
Be a light that shines Your name

Everyday Lord I'll
Learn to stand upon Your Word
And I pray
That I might come to know You more
That You would guide me
In every single step I take
That everyday I can
Be Your light unto the world

Everyday it's You I'll live for
Everyday I'll follow after You
Everyday I'll walk with You my Lord

It's You I live for, everyday
It's You I live for, everyday
It's You I live for, everyday

This song reminds me to just take one day at a time, but to remember the overall picture of everyday living for Christ.

What to do�

1. Find my proof of insurance so I can prove to the Duvall PD that I have insurance (I was pulled over last Friday, and couldn�t find the current insurance card)
2. Get new License plates (that�s what I was originally pulled over for, no ticket on either account)
3. Go to AAA and get my international drivers license
4. Go to Kinko�s and get some passport photos for my youth traveler�s ID
5. Pray, Pray, Pray, Read the bible, Read the bible, Read the bible

Live wisely among those who are not Christians, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone.
[Colossians 4:5-6]

Wow, what a statement. One which I�ve been working on for a long time, when you�re full of passion about something, but young in that passion sometimes you can offend people, although your intention is not to. I�ve been asking God to help me in this area, for a long time now God has shown me, that by being gracious I am more effective. People want to be respected; you must have trust with a person before you can effective with them. This is a broken world, where too many people (including Christians, and a lot of the time by Christians) have been hurt, torn down, shot down, and rejected by the words of others. I know that I am still a piece of work, especially in the area of communication with �pre-believers�. My time in Poland is going to stretch me beyond the limits, I�m going to have times where I doubt myself, I�m going to have times where I�m losing my mind, I�m going have times where I just want to give up. I know I can be especially discouraged when I don�t see fruit, when I don�t see the �signs�. I need to have faith that whatever I do, as long as it is for the lord, and my real intentions are to work for God, then all will be fine.

Well last night was one of the first �good byes� I had to do� John and Jen are leaving tomorrow for Multnomah Bible College; today they are spending time with their families, so I won�t be able to see them. So instead, last night we hung out, went to Seattle�s pacific place, walked around, and the girls (Jen and Alexis) tried on some very nice formal dresses, that was fun. While John and I were sitting in the waiting room for them to change, John saw a box of something, either cookies or chocolates; we were in Nordstrom�s so, so it could have been. Well he walks over to see what�s in this box labeled �Bravo� and it looks like some kind of cookie box. I tell him �watch out�, because I knew it could have been anything�. And it was� John peeked in, and his face turned bright red � it was the funniest thing I�ve seen him do in a while. So what was in the box? Let�s just say, women�s �breast enhancers�.

But later that night, when it was time to go home (after going to TGI Friday�s, and then watching �ever after�, which is a great movie) I let John drive my car to Jen�s house for one of the last times (for a while), and we said our �see ya laters�. Alexis and I began to drive off, and I just lost it. It was so hard, I could say anything with out tearing up, and crying. I really love John and Jen, they have been an awesome blessing in my life. I started to reminisce about Campus Crusade, my time with John at Ocean Shores, and all the other times I�ve spent with John and lately with Jen � God has something huge in store for them.

Father God bless John and Jen while they are away at Bible College, may they grow closer and closer to you, the mighty God of the universe, give them the strength and will to do what is right for you, and protect them from evil desires, and evil its self. In your Son, Jesus� name, Amen.

I have a lot to talk about, but not much time to talk about it. I know it�s been over a week since I last posted, which I think is a record. I�ve just found myself being caught up in life, one which is taking off in new directions. I had a work week from Satan himself, everything that could go wrong did, and to make it worse, all at the end of my regular day, so I had to work extra long each day this week, but my supervisor was nice enough to let me off early today. I haven�t had the time or the energy to do my quiet times, ride my bike, or anything else I actually get good joy out of. I saw matt once in the last two weeks, for about an hour. But I did make sure to get my fellowship time in, and my time with Alexis. Some may think its more important for me to get my bible reading time in, then anything else, but for me, it�s time with other Christians where I can discuss things, and figure it all out (which of course will never happen).

Even though I�m struggling, by losing it at work (lets just say I was growling at some servers), falling to temptation (again), not loving as much as I could, and just simply being human, I�m still seeking God, and feeling his presence. I don�t know how I would go on with out the strength Jesus gives me.

By the way, I got my new laptop, it is so awesome, and it�s going to be great having it in Poland. I also have a �big plan� I need to start planning for, so I better get going.

Some say faith is for the weak, I say faith is for the smart�

I see our lives here on Earth as a time to prove ourselves to God. But we only need to prove one thing, our love and appreciation for him. God created us because he loves relationships, who knows what else he has created, in the �past� or �future�, God�s does not work in a world limited by �time�. He created us for relationships, not just with each other but for him, he created everything, and imagine if you created everything, you would want a relationship too, just like you do with your own children. But God doesn�t want just a casual relationship, �hi Steve, what�s up? Steve says, not much. See ya later�, what would you think if your parents had that kind of relationship with you? It just isn�t good to have casual relationships with your children, and it isn�t go to have one like that with God either.

God knows what�s best, and he filled the people who sought after him with his Holy Spirit to let the rest of humanity know him by the words they would write. God�s Holy Spirit does not lie, but it is quiet, unless you get to know its voice, just like a friend on the telephone, the bible is that voice. I think �mainstream Christianity� today has a tweaked perspective of how a �Christian� life should look like, and be. There are not ten steps to living perfectly with God, there is not just one prayer which will save you from hell, there is not just any simple little thing you can do, and your life will be perfect. The Christian life is not a free shopping spree, getting everything you want. No, the Christian �life� is not very different from the �non-Christian�, people die, people hurt, people get hurt, and evil still fights us.

The Christian person is what is different, not the life. The Christian person, who continually is seeking God, by reading the bible and fellowshipping with other Christians, but realizing that the world is real, and needs Christ, is different. Not because of something they have �done�, but because he or she took a step of faith. Not knowing what would happen, they made themselves vulnerable, to everyone, and certainly to failure and humiliation. The initial trust is what most people, even people who call themselves �Christian� do not understand, and will not try. They do not want to take a risk, with out proof they will either receive something which will improve their status (weather financially, physically, sexually, or whatever), or get something they want in return. The truth is they will, but it�s not something you can see, it�s only something you feel, it�s not tangible, and it�s not going to improve any kind of status. It is unconditional love, which only God can provide. Once a person trusts in his unconditional love, then you can feel his spirit working in you, and your drive to know God better becomes stronger.

So, take a step, everyday, weather you�re Christian or not, taking a step to know God better can only improve your life, it may reduce your status here on Earth, but we must keep our sights on God, and trust him, seek him, then know him.

Today I realized, that I can't swear anymore. I just can't, I hate it. I'm not sure when this happened, I know a few years ago I made the decision to stop swearing, but I never thought it would get like this. It's not a bad thing by any means, but even when it slips in my head, I hate it. Today I was working on a server at work and things just were not going well, and I was getting really frustrated, it was getting the point where I was raising my voice at it (do remember, that no one is in the room, so if someone was watching, I'm sure it was pretty funny), and instead of saying other choice words I was just like "grrr, rar, fudge, stupid thing, and Lord fix it I quit". Well after I calmed down, and started looking up the error messages it was quickly resolved. I just though it was weird that I didn't even mutter a curse word, this is just so different from who I was just two years ago.

Today I also realized that I just really don't like working by myself, I've said this before, and I know I've mentioned it people, but I do not like being the only tech person for about 750 computers, 3000 students and 300 staff/teachers. This is not what I call fun, and I really hope that who ever they higher for my replacement is Christian, and has a lot of patience, these people need someone with patience. This reminds me, I need to call Justin and have him take a look at the application. So, now I'm off to pick up Alexis and go to dinner at her mom's house.

That's what I've been writing, crap� I know, it sounds a little harsh, I know it's not all "crap" especially the stuff to "her". But I realize it isn't interesting for anyone to read except me, and maybe the ones which are directly mentioned in the "crap". So, I'm starting something new, which is going to help out a lot when I get to Poland. I�m going to write about my day, but not like a chronological list of events of my day, but my feelings and my experiences� hopefully this is more interesting and enriching. Thanks.

Check this out. This is exciting, this is real, this is God.

"Don't be troubled. You trust God, now trust in me. There are many rooms in my Father's home, and I am going to prepare a place for you. If this were not so, I would tell you plainly. When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know where I am going and how to get there."
"No, we don't know, Lord," Thomas said. "We haven't any idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?"
Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. If you had known who I am, then you would have known who my Father is. From now on you know him and have seen him!"
Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father and we will be satisfied."
Jesus replied, "Philip, don't you even yet know who I am, even after all the time I have been with you? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father! So why are you asking to see him? Don't you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words I say are not my own, but my Father who lives in me does his work through me. Just believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. Or at least believe because of what you have seen me do.
"The truth is, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, because the work of the Son brings glory to the Father. Yes, ask anything in my name, and I will do it!
[John 14:1-14]

1 - Jesus is preparing a place for us to be with him.
2 - Jesus is the way, know him, know God, be with God forever.
3 - Even if you have doubts, the evidence is there, Jesus was and is God, you know what he did so believe because of that.
4 - If you truly believe in him, then you will do the same as Jesus and even greater, because Jesus, God, and Holy Spirit are all working for us, with us, and loving us.

Yes, that's right I love her. I love her smile, her hair, the way she gets sleepy, I love everything about her. But I love her heart the most; it is so evident that she love's God more than me, or any other human. She is everything I ever wanted, and that's a good thing. But we completely believe in not "awakening love before its time" (from the Song of Solomon), so we wait, with my time in Poland quickly approaching I know that God is going to lead us into better pastures. I know, I must remain realistic, and begin to focus on my time in Poland. I know God has chosen this timing for a reason, and I must set my sights on him before her, and before Poland, so that I may serve both and all others with the best of my abilities.

So here are my (mostly random) thoughts Alexis.

Does she love the Lord? � Yes it is evident in the way she loves children and others.

Is she supportive of the Poland mission? � Yes, in fact she's excited for me, and is very supporting.

Where does she see herself fulfilling the great commencement? � Working as an elementary school teacher, and working with children. To fulfill her namesake of "Helper of man kind"

Favorite book of the bible � Joshua

Mysterious � Yes, and this is a good thing

Random Thoughts on myself.

Am I in love with the Lord? � Yes, and if I ever show anything else, seriously let me know.

Am I ready and prepared to leave Alexis, my friends, my family and my life here for Poland � Yes, I'm excited, but truthfully a little scared about meeting new people and having them understand my love for Christ, but I know the Holy Spirit will be strong, if not more than it is here at home, because I'll be in a place where I need to depend on God.

Where do I see my self fulfilling the great commencement? � Eventually teaching high schoolers about network administration, and architecture, most students interested in this area have social skills which are not "popular", and therefore a lot of these students need Love and attention� I feel God's gift to me as a computer/network support specialist can be used to make relationships with those kinds of people � the kind I use to be, I have a connection.

Favorite book of the bible � Ever changing, but Mathew is still at the top.

Am I mysterious? � Not so much.

My goal right now for the two of us � Show God's powerful love to everyone through our relationship with each and our individual relationships with Christ.

Must be some mistake
'Cause I'm not worth the price you paid.
With every passing hour
I convince myself that you saw something in me.
But I can hear them still,
As the whispers laced with hatred fill the room.
Guess I'm wasting my time
How could you love a man like me?

Lord I need your strength
'Cause I am weak and falling to my knees.
Who is on my side?
'Cause I can't tell my friends from enemies.
Filling up with pain.
Bitterness controls the air I breathe.
What am I fighting for?
Do you have a plan for me?

Must be some mistake
'Cause I'm not worth the price you paid.
With every passing hour,
I convince myself that you saw something in me.
But I can hear them still,
As the whispers laced with hatred fill the room.
Guess I'm wasting my time
How could you love a man like me?

Must be some mistake.
'Cause I'm not worth the price you paid.

Artist: Seventh Day Slumber
Album: Picking Up The Pieces
Song: My Struggle

Now, doesn't that say it all! Those are the words I wish I could say when I say "I just can't explain it".

What do you think of the new look? I know� I finally moved away from the blue, but I'm not making any promises, I like blue. I'm going to bed now, it's late.

I have finally resized, and optimized all the pictures I took at Creation, this isn't all of them, I took over 80 pictures! These are just the ones which came out right...
Click on a picture to get a larger version.


This is most of the group, from left to right- Eric, Lauren, Me, Brandie, Gregg, and Miles. I was just learning to use my camera and so this picture had the wrong settings of "landscape" on, so things up close were blurry.


This is Ashley and Lauren (R) (not the same as the one above... no really Travis...) silly girls, hiding from the sun.


Eric and Lauren, how cute.


Ladies, and Gentlemen, Jon Johnson, I had coffee with him today.


In the center with the orange vest is Josh, he was working on staff with Creation, as was Jon (from above). If you ever get to meet this boy, consider your self blessed.


This is Kyle going crazy to Pax217, he is Carly's brother.


This is Lauren, Eric (open your eyes boy), and Brandie...


Here is Matt and Tisha, they both surprised me and showed up later in the week, also people to get to know!


Me and Tisha on the hillside.


Newsboys, as much as people are "tired" of them, I still love them. Not the greatest picture, but it was fun!


Another Newsboys picture, in between each song, one of the band members sang a verse or two of an old hym, it was beautiful.


All the people rocking out to Pax217!!! This one is for you, Alex! Wish you could've been there :)


A better picture of Pax217, on the jumbo tron.


This little guy landed on some kids soda can, and then decided to make his home on the Kid's Dad's hat, so there he stayed, and at the time of the picture he had been there for over a day, going with him wherever the hat's owner went.... it's a praying mantis for all you non-bugy type.


And now I present to you, SWITCHFOOT! They rocked, as usual, but no 24.... AGAIN!


A great picture of the Thirdday show. Which was a great show, and a great way to end Creation.


More thirdday, and God's glory is going to blind all darkness, how rad is that?


The Toby Mac show, it rocked, the entire ampitheater!


See I told you so! Even the old guys!


Tree 63 - on the fringe stage... sad times, but a great show!


A view from the hillside of the Gorge ampitheater, God's creation is magnificent!


Me on the hillside, the mainstage, and Pax217 rocki'n out. Check out the view again!


Another amazing view of the sun setting at the Gorge.


This is me trying out the delayed shutter option on my camera, now if I just had a tripod stand, it would've been great.


Worship time at Creation, one of the most amazing times of worship, 30,000 people all worshiping our Lord Jesus Christ!


More worship, God is amazing. Creation is just a hint, 1 billioninth of what God's glory is like.

I am so full of excitement right now! I am so meant to go to Poland I received a huge confirmation today, and basically yesterday too, although yesterday's wasn't much of one at the time. So let's start from the beginning (yesterday).

Yesterday at work, I had a meeting with my supervisor at 10am; we went over some projects I need to get done, and some other work related things. After all of that, we moved onto the business of me, I needed him to write a letter to excuse me from Jury duty, and then we went onto the subject of my leave of absence request for one year so I could go to Poland. Well, he didn't want to tell me this, but they (him, and the other administrators) decided to deny my request for the leave. The reason being that they felt they would not be able to higher someone of quality for a temporary position, which I understand, but the second reason was that "classified" employees (which is what I am, since I do not teach) are not normally given leaves � Thanks for leading me on, and getting my hopes up, now I have four weeks to figure out how to resign and when. I had already made the decision that I was going to resign if they denied the request, but I guess I hadn't really thought of it being a real option, so I reacted rather emotionally. But after talking to some great people, Leanne, Matt and Alexis all is okay, and I know that God is just leading me to other places. But of course it did put some scary insight into the future�

So today, I go to work, all is normal, I work on getting some of our servers back to working functionality, and I talked to Alex for a few hours while I hammered away at some problems with our middle school servers. It was a pretty good day. When I get home I realize that I haven't received the email I normally receive from the Mission Dispatch people (the people handling my support money) with an update on supporters and deposits. I email him asking him what's up� Then I go online to Washington Mutual's online banker, which is where I have my Poland Missions account. I notice that a deposit of $3,600 was made yesterday! WOW! I figure that my letters to everybody, stating that it will only take $10/month for 12 months really worked, and people just donated the entire $120 for a year. Well I get a reply from the guy at Mission Dispatch as to who donated� and to my surprise only two checks were sent for the month of July. One from my old youth pastors for $100 (which in it self is awesome!)� and one from someone I use to be in youth group with, who has already donated, who I was never all that close to, donated $3,500! Praise the lord, but $3,500, if I had something to give I would, but I don't! This is just amazing! God is amazing, and I realize that I am being blessed and guided just as I have been praying. Even though I am falling into sin, here and there, and I am far from perfect, God is still graceful and merciful! What do I do now? I'm looking for his phone number, and I'm going to type him up a special thank you letter, which I've been sending letters in the past to my supporters, but this is just unbelievable, not to mention he's a College student at Northern Arizona University!

Even with this amazing donation I still need $5400 more dollars, or 45 people to donate $10/month for the year i'm away, or $120 flat.

See also Part I and Part II

First my definition of "believe" � Believe, I know as absolute truth, with out any doubt, but because I'm human, my beliefs could change, but not without much counsel and research.

I believe God longs for us to be like him � Putting the needs and cares of others before yourself. I believe God is our perfect heavenly parent, perfect because God is unconditional. I believe we serve others because we love them, not because we want something out of what we are doing, but God does bless us for serving w/o condition. Because we love God, we love his creation, which is everything in this universe; we should go out of our way to take care of what God has given us. Don't just serve other "believers" serve the world, Jesus served the sinners, went to the poor, talked to the prostitutes, and healed those who others would not touch. Your true parent lives in heaven and created everything, so why be afraid? We have real power in Jesus Christ, the son of God and the son of humans.

Think of it this way. If a father dies and leaves great wealth for his young children, those children are not much better off than slaves until they grow up, even though they actually own everything their father had. They have to obey their guardians until they reach whatever age their father set.
And that's the way it was with us before Christ came. We were salves to the spiritual powers of this world. But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a women, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because you Gentiles have become his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, and now you can call God your dear Father. Now you are no longer a slave but God's own child. And since you are his child, everything he has belongs to you. [Galatians 4:1-7]

What awesome news this is! I've heard it said before "you are a child of God", but it never really clicked, that God is my parent, of course I've called him "father", of course I believed I was his creation, but to have the same love and connection as a child, now that is amazing. I don't know why it clicked today, why August 1, 2003? But I know this is another step in my relationship with God. You too are his child, he loves you like a perfect parent, unconditionally, because he truly did create you. And since we are his children, everything he has belongs to us? Everything! His grace, mercy and love, all of it is ours forever.

Live mid-market rates as of 2003.08.01 20:23:35 GMT.
900.00 PLN - Polish Dollars Poland Zlotych = 230.633 USD - US Dollars

United States Dollars
1 PLN = 0.256259 USD 1 USD = 3.90230 PLN

So, what this all means... That apartment which Chris described in my previous post, will cost only $230/month for both of us, divide that by two, and that's only $115/each/month. Wow, how crazy is that.