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Tuesday, June 03, 2003

For the most part I enjoy being the youngest person in a staff of three hundred plus. But sometimes it can be a real disadvantage; older people have this thing with young people, and especially young men. I'm twenty-one and the next oldest person is twenty-six, but he is a teacher and football coach. I always get the feeling that my work is doubted, that my skills are not as good as someone 10 years older than me, and that sometimes my opinions just don't count, even though I have the same or even more experience than my older co-workers. I guess its just part of life, but I really wish I was a little more appreaciated, a little more trusted. Sometimes I get all down about this, and figure it's something I've done, but I realize it isn't. I know for the most part I have their respect, and I respect my co-workers greatly, but I think it is time for a little appreciation to be thrown around. I will make sure to give that same appreciation I want from my co-workers to them. I will make sure to really be different then them, or from the other "nice guys", I want them to see why I tick, why I have passion, who I live for. I do not deserve God's love, I don�t' deserve to feel so at peace when others have no clue, I don't deserve any of the things I have. God's love is so real to me, yet I am so disappointed in how I show and give that love to others. So, that's my goal from now until I leave. I want to be in the light, as he is in the light. I want my light to shine for all to see, I will not hide it. I live for Christ, but he died and took our sins for us, he felt our sins, he took our sins as a parent who takes hateful words from their child, and continues to love and provide.

It is through grace alone.