food for fish

How am I really doing? I'm sick and tired of being tired, not motivated, being lazy at work, feeling like I could be doing something so much more. I'm basically disappointed in my self. I'm always feeling like I need to have a deep conversation with someone, really discuss something, either politics, spiritually, culturally, family life, or biblically. It seems like when I'm in the mood to talk about this kind of stuff, either no one is around, or no one else wants to. I really enjoy talking, and communicating with others on things like this, I love coffee shops, and I love just going out, sitting on the waterfront, and either worshipping, or talking about life. I really want to know about people, why they believe what they believe, how their life and experiences have formed those ideas, and why they will or won't listen and consider changing their ideas. I think a lot of people just don't like opening up like that, I know I never use to, now it's all I want to do. I want to know, I don't want to be biased. I know I will always be bias, but I want to at least understand, and know why I believe what I believe. Right now I know I believe what I believe because I've simply followed what I read in the bible, and what Jesus asked us to be, and it has changed my life, it's been a long four years. I've made many mistakes, and I have been on both sides of the fence, and I will remain on this side, hopefully further and further away from the other, but still understanding. I know I tend to write in a strong, sometimes condeming voice, this is not where my heart is, and those who know me personally know this. I am working on changing my written voice, up until last November I never really ever wrote, so this is all new to me. Go ahead, hit me.