food for fish

Well, for the past three months or so I have been drained, tired, unmotivated, and simply depressed. But I truly believe that yesterday was a turning point. Most of the frustration from all of these feelings was being poured upon Alexis. We were both very unhappy with the status of our relationship, both annoyed at each other, but most of all I was doing nothing to improve the situation, except hoping she would just change. I have always said that if I thought about changing her then I knew I was in the wrong place, if not in the wrong relationship. But there I was, doing exactly what I knew was wrong and not wanting to change any of it. Granted there is a lot of stress on our relationship that isn't "normal", but if we don't try and work through it now, what would we do in person?

With the advice of some very awesome mentors in my life and the guiding of the Holy Spirit we finally talked and looked at the issues at face value. For the first hour I was ready to just break it up right there. However, we started to talk about "us" all the feelings, when the first time we felt those feelings (in our life, not in our relationship and for both of us it was related to certain people in our lives who made us react to certain feelings in a certain way) and we forgave each other for crossing those lines and not dealing with them properly. A huge heavy weight was lifted and both of us have a great outlook on the future now. The advice of the Godly never fails, the truth of the Bible never fails, and our choices to follow this advice and truth is what it all depends on.

Father,

I never want to underestimate your powers, yet I do it all the time. The world around me may appear to crumble, but you are always strong. I've put my hope in you, not in anything else of this world and now I have seen the power and strength that comes from standing on your teaching. I have overcome so many fears, obstacles, and many impossibilities because of your truth. You have worked in my life in so many ways and I thank you for using people as your hands and feet. Because I give recognition to you as the doer of all things in my life I receive your blessing, if it were me doing or claiming to be doing, then I know I would never see the blessings. I know you Many think you are intangible, I do not I know you use us and that is tangible. Thank you, you are the one who does all good things. Continue to protect, help me to be guided by you and be effective for you. In Jesus' name - make it so.

All kinds of things are going through my head. I sometimes wish it would be better to be in heaven, my heart could have a break from hurting for others, and I could lose myself in worship. However, I know going through what I'm going through now will only make those things I yearn for even greater. So, this is just a prayer request for myself, pray for a clear head, perseverance, and the strength to go on past the discouragements.

This is the second time this week God has done something amazing like this. I just posted, oh what, two minutes ago. This is the very next thing I stumbled upon from Faith Gambler:

"Yes," Jesus replied, "and I assure you, everyone who has given up house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the Kingdom of God, 30will be repaid many times over in this life, as well as receiving eternal life in the world to come." [Luke 18:29-30]

I believe it was for me. Thank you Reid!

I have an incredible "sense" of right and wrong. It can be so strong it gets me into trouble a lot of the time and I can be seen as "intolerant" when really I just want to show someone that going some directions will not lead to anything good. I don't tell them because I want to control them, I tell them because I sincerely love people and I hate to see people makes choices that I know are not good for them. How do I know? Well I'm still trying to figure it out myself, it's a deep down urgent feeling that I just can not explain I can only show.

However, I can even resist the urge to do right myself, so I guess that in itself shows that no matter what I do, people will make their own choices and all I can do is tell them otherwise. This can be very frustrating and discouraging to watch people make choices I have made and to know the feelings. I cannot imagine how God feels, he must be in constant suffering, just watching his children make choices all the time that lead them away from him. I'm so scared to be a parent for this very reason but at the same time I want to experience the miracle and feelings for myself.

Father, please cover me with your grace and shine on me with your light. Take your arms and hold me tight. I'm in such a strange place, so many extreme emotions and no where for them to go. I'm annoyed and frustrated by people I love so dearly, and I'm hurt and scared for others. The range of emotions is nothing I want to experience ever again. However, I know after this process I will know you more and be able to serve you in another wonderful way. Please remove this burden, for your burden is much lighter. Help me to be grounded in you again. I know your love never fails. Restore to me the joy of my salvation.

Bene Diction Blogs On is helping a random professor who found his blog through Google. The professor has a survey for professing Christians, it takes about 15-20 min to complete, I did it, and it didn't hurt. He needs about 500 completed surveys and so far has 225. So I'm just doing my part as another blogger, help the prof out and check it out.

Do you remember?

The night we realized our dark life secret was the same?
The times we said "me too" to each other?
Talkin' about little things and silly things?
Thinkin' that the other was "unattainable"?
Discussin' the things of God?
Do you remember?

Oh I remember
I will cherish every one of those times
How God brought us together
Isn't it amazin'?
Do you remember?

Laying on the shores of the Columbia just talkin'?
Being too afraid to really say what our heart was feeling?
At that table, sun burned, but wanting to move forward?
On the couch, finally admitting our pull towards each other?
The awkwardness of it all after the fact?
Thinkin' "what'll we tell our friends?"

Oh I remember
I will cherish every one of those times
How God brought us together
Isn't it amazin'?
Do you remember?

I remember the phone call to your brother…
I remember the look on his face…
I remember the prayers he and I shared…
I remember the confidence of it all…
I remember holding your hand for the first time…
I remember remember our first "I love yous"...

Oh I remember
I will cherish every one of those times
How God brought us together
Isn't it amazin'?
Do you remember?

I love you, don't you forget that…
I know it's been rough, I won't forget that…
I know God is central, I better not forget it…
I know your love is strong, how could I forget that…
I wanna be with you forever…
So I wait for you, and for Him, and I'll remember that.

Do you remember?

Remember that day?

I failed to mention some things that I feel God is up to in my life. You see, one of the biggest impressions I have had since coming here has been that I must continue these relationships after I leave. Back in December, I got a picture and an idea of what a cross-cultural internship program might look like here in Poland. Over time, that image has morphed and I have presented the idea to a few people.

You might remember me mentioning Dan Russell who came from the Portland, OR area to visit with us, right near the end of Alexis' stay, after a US Wrestling tournament here in Poland. One day we (Dan, Alexis, and I) were driving towards Carol and Denise's and he started telling me about the internship program he and his wife facilitate at his church (Easthill Foursquare in Gresham, OR). He also mentioned how he wanted to setup some kind of cross-cultural program, my eyes lit up (as did Alexis') and at that point, I knew God was up to something.

I know that the hour-long time with God at the conference on that Sunday morning was God telling me it is time to go. But it was not in the sense of leaving here, but it's time for me to go and do what needs to be done to make this idea happen. I realize it is a multi-year vision, it will require a lot of patience, training, support, and most of all prayer and guidance from God. However, unlike anything else, when I think about this I feel the passion come back, I feel alive again, and this must be God's will for me. I know that anything I do which honors and glorifies the Father is in his will, and this is just one of many ways I could go. It is a desire God has placed on my heart and it not only will glorify him, it will build the relationships I have made this year for many years to come.

And there is more! Last night Alexis met with our new Young Adult's pastor (who is also the pastoral care pastor) at Mill Creek (our church in the Seattle area) and he asked her to be an intern. I don't know the details since it is all she could leave in the quick voice message she left me. But I believe this is all related and God is certainly up to something.

Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. [1 Tim 4:12]

I think It's about time that I spoke freely. I've been in a very dry place these past few months, in fact you could say I have been in the desert place. I have not felt much through all of this except a low level of constant frustration and the feeling of "not fitting." I've been standing on the voice of truth, and it is only that which has kept me here.

Back in the fall, just a month or two after my arrival here in Poland I got homesick. This homesickness was not for any kind of thing, but it was the longing to be with friends that I know could talk through my concerns with. Life as a Christian is pretty hard here in comparison to what I left. I know that if it were not for the prayers of my great friends back in Seattle I would have lost it and gone home. Thankfully God provided the means for me to get an Internet phone and I've been able to talk to all of these friends and counselors.

I cam here to depend on God and learn more about Him, God had called me to depend on him and Poland is what he provided. However, I have learned much more than just dependence on God; I have learned freedom, purity, confidence, humility, perseverance and much more. Yet the number one thing I have experienced is intimacy with the Lord Jesus himself. You see, the one thing I hated the most, has happened the most here, lots of spare time and no one to spend it with. God has taught, and is still teaching me how to have fellowship with Him. The emptiness I have been feeling has more to do with me not seeking Him in these times of loneliness than it does with me simply not having fellowship.

Personally, I have wanted to go home countless times, I have wanted to see Mt. Rainier come out and just slip away into my comfortable little routine. Many times, I have thought, and on occasion have said out loud, I just want to be in Heaven. This is not who I want to be, I feel defeated in a way, but in another I feel like I am on the brink of rediscovering God.

On to another subject, God has been revealing quite a few things to me. It would take up too much time to explain it all so I will simply list them all so you can pray about them. I know God's word is what I need to be seeking to find the meaning of each of these and I know in time it will all make sense. Hindsight is always 20/20.

• On April 25th God spoke directly into my heart via Marc and Kathy Shaw, it was a strong urge that I (and Alexis) will be used to do something in Poland. I cried for almost an hour while listening, it moved me because they are so passionate in what they do and I want to be just as passionate. They will be pasturing in Portland, OR after serving 16 years in Europe, I had never heard them nor read much about them before that day, but I have enormous respect for them and I will miss them.



• On April 26th the director of Foursquare Missions International deemed our work in Poland as official, and apologized for all the bureaucracy we had faced earlier. I am now in the process of becoming a mission team specialist.



• On April 27th the calling of the Lord was confirmed when Alexis revealed to me that serving in the field has always been on her heart.



• On May 15th I ran our first men's morning "retreat", I blew it big time, I didn't even use scripture, and by God's grace it was pulled off. However, God used it as a great learning time and confirmed through the words of a pastor who was here from Poland that I will be used by God in a teaching role. I still have a very hard time with this, I don't consider myself any kind of public speaker nor someone who can get enough respect to be listened to, but that is God's work not mine.



• On May 16th The Californian pastor got an impression for me, "start living as if you were married." This was scary and in many ways contradictory to my own set boundaries for my relationship with Alexis. However, it became clear, it wasn't the duties that I start living, it was the responsibility that I should live out. I am still trying to grasp it all.

Currently I am experiencing many doubts to all of these things above. I have been trying too hard to understand them but I have also not done much reading of scripture nor prayer to hear form God on them. I am also not feeling to well physically and spiritually I feel bi-polar. I think simplification of my life is coming. That's all folks.

Okay, so maybe I'm a little obessive compolsive, or something. What do you think, I really like it, and so that's that. And yes, the time on this post is correct. Once I start something I just can't stop until it is finished.

God is love, God creates love, and true love can only be centered on God. God's love is unconditional. By understanding God's love we can love others more. By accepting his love into our lives we can effectively love others. Letting our love desire be fulfilled by God allows us to be full, our desire for love is meant to be filed by God.

"I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey me, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father and remain in his love. [John 15:9-10]

See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don't know God, so they don't understand that we are his children... ...We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters. [1 John 3:1, 16]

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God--for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we are like Christ here in this world. Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that his love has not been perfected in us. We love each other as a result of his loving us first. If someone says, "I love God," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we have not seen? And God himself has commanded that we must love not only him but our Christian brothers and sisters, too. [1 John 4:7-21]

God, I need your help to love as you do. I want to love as you do and I fully want to know your love. Help me to be like Christ in this world, loving all, unconditionally. I ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

How in this day and age, could a married couple, who have been together for eight years, never have had sex, and did not know they had to have sex to have a child!? Some people's children... Found via Instapundit, here.

Thanks to Jan and Mike.

Over the years, I have heard people, Christians and non-Christians, who have made up all kinds of excuses for going to parties, getting drunk, having pre-marital sex, and doing all kinds of questionable behavior. The most popular response usually is something to the affect of "why do I need your approval"; my response is that they do not need my approval at all. In the past I have not "lovingly corrected" others as instructed, I have done quite the opposite, and I know many of my fellow Christians do and have done. I know the importance of lovingly correcting people now, and I hope that people will see the logic in following the ways of Christ rather than making their own way. Sometimes it is hard to just live a life and hope that people will see the benefits of the way I live rather than the way they are living. I warn people out of love, not out of some horrible need to shame others. As a Christian, I believe my responsibility is to warn people of their un-Christ-like behavior, but in a loving way showing them the peace that comes with following Jesus' ways. Sadly, I know many people will never choose to know God, and I am saddened by their decision, but at least I can try. I for one cannot imagine being separated from God. Separation from God is a nightmare I do not have to worry about, thanks to His grace and sending Jesus to build the bridge.

We should be decent and true in everything we do, so that everyone can approve of our behavior. Don't participate in wild parties and getting drunk, or in adultery and immoral living, or in fighting and jealousy. But let the Lord Jesus Christ take control of you, and don't think of ways to indulge your evil desires. [Romans 13:13-14]

This is the scary elevator we rode at the salt mines.

This is a church in Krakow.

This is in the main square in Krakow, we had a blast, albeit now she's back in Seattle.

This is Leah in the scary elevator at the Salt Mines near Krakow.

I'm testing the new HELLO thing. This is a sundae I had while Leah was visiting.

Yesterday I was thinking about all the things that I am thankful and grateful for. I have never broken a bone, nor have I had a bloody nose. I have never had any trouble getting bills and other important things paid. So far, I do not owe any money for schooling. I have many amazing friends. The opportunity to be here in Poland has taught me a number of life long lessons. Some of these life long lessons were painful and sometimes discouraging, but at the same time, I am thankful for them because it will mean good things are to come. I have an amazing girlfriend who challenges me to be a better person and seek growing together in Christ. I can not forget how thankful I am for my laptop and the internet, with out either one I would be very isolated from friends and family back home. My friends in Seattle are still supportive, although I know some of them do not make a lot of money, they continue to support me. I am most thankful for God's grace though, I have made so many mistakes, done so many things that should have been trouble, yet God's grace has saved me from doing all kinds of stupid things and he has made good from what should have been bad.

This is a relationship with God. The picture I get when I imagine my life with out God is a black void; a life without a meaning or a purpose. Give thanks.

I have posted newsletter seven. Take a look exciting things are happening. I hate having to beg for money, but I think it is something God is working in me. In Seattle, I was always giving money to people who needed it, or I simply paid for people's meals, simply for the fellowship and friendship building, here it's almost reversed, it's certainly a humbling experience.

The Californian's are gone, but it is a see you later not a goodbye. It is amazing just how close you can get to other brothers and sisters in Christ in just a week. As we prayed for the team tonight to send them back home, and as they drove away I was holding back tears, and as I type this, I feel the lump grow in my throat. I really learned a lot this week from the team. They were all from Thousand Oaks Foursquare church in Thousand Oaks, California. God used Bob, the pastor, he really taught me a lot about serving, fully prepared, and that "winging it" just will not cut it, preparation will always honor God, and "winging it" will only work for a while. I need to live responsibly for the Kingdom. To the best of my ability, I am practicing humility.

The other three, Fabio, Lyndee, and Gene were extraordinary leaders and servants. Each one of them taught me about a different are in my life that needs more of Christ. Fabio taught me about careful thought and loving through listening. Lyndee taught me about the heart of living love out, doing what needed to be done and trying her best at everything she did. Gene taught me about praying in a heart of expectancy, yet not for what I wanted but for what is needed and of having fun. The entire team could not have been better except if chosen by God himself. I really saw the love of the Lord in them and I know God used them to love on us and the Polish people here in Zakopane.

What is Kingdom culture? What is human culture? What is American? What is Polish? These are all questions I really want to see answered. I only want to be reflecting Kingdom culture, sure, some parts of the other's may match, but not all. I want to be a citizen of Heaven not of Earth. I do not really belong here anyway, no Christian does. Why should I keep on learning about American culture VS Polish culture when really I should be focusing on what is Kingdom culture. Kingdom culture will not dishonor God, it may make people uncomfortable, but it will show them God. I want to portray His kingdom's culture, not mine, not Polish, nor anything else.

I believe the entire New Testament is all about learning to live as God intended us, essentially preparing the way for life in Heaven, living in and for the Kingdom. Shouldn't we try to figure out what is human VS what is heavenly rather than trying to "fit in" to our own cultures? I am tired of being scared to offend someone by simply doing what is Christian. I do not want to use God's name to offend anyone, and I believe that if it is in God's will and truly of his culture, it will not offend but instead bring people closer to Him. I do not want to be afraid to be Christian anymore, especially since the consequences are so trivial and human rather than God-disgracing and hurtful. I have the Holy Spirit, I have nothing to be afraid of if I seek His wisdom and counsel and live for him fully.

I will no longer be afraid to live for God just because it is something not done culturally. I will no longer shy away from doing what is the right thing. I will work hard because it is God's way.

Are cool, especially when they are really cool brothers and sisters who simply want to love people just as Jesus did. Amen. I still think they drive scary though.

The past couple of days I have been feeling inadequate as a person of God's. I know without any doubt that God does not see me this way. However, this is what I am feeling. I feel like I don't know enough, that I haven't known God long enough, that I because I don't have the history that some have that I am just a "baby Christian" and that I don't have much to offer. Of course, I know that no one here would agree with this, but that does not change how I feel. I am feeling this way partly because of a bunch of stupid things I have said or done, like forgetting my keys and having to drive across town, twice, and saying things that are apparently obvious to everyone else, except me. Moreover, the most discouraging thing is that my ideas never seem to be "good enough" to warrant support and encouragement from others. It is always "great, set it all up and we'll be there" this is discouraging for me I want support and I want to do things with people, in the whole process, I want to hear "great, how can I help?"

Please pray that I will regain my confidence, that people will see that offering help is not only helpful but also encouraging, it tells me that my ideas warrant attention. Pray that I am able to press on and not be discouraged by the lies of Satan. Pray that I can be myself, have the right words and be effective. Pray that I am encouraged and hear words of affirmation from those who can also provide helpful criticism and support. Thanks.

Sin does not make a person bad nor should sin be considered a bad thing. A person full of sin can be the nicest person everyone knows. No, sin is not bad but sin causes bad things in our lives. Sin is what keeps us from knowing God and his will. Sin is anything that separates us from God's way. For each person's sin is different. But of course, there are sins, which we all have to face. I believe this to be a more accurate description of sin. Many people interpret sin as things that are bad or cause harm to others. Except that when I read what God has told us, sin is always an issue of someone not going God's way and therefore there is a natural consequence.

Please do not interpret things like getting sick as the result of sin. The consequences of sin are much more than simple biological issues, our souls are not biological so the consequence of sin cannot be biological. The consequences of sin must affect our souls, at the deepest parts of our existence, the part where our connection with God is made. When we finally accept that we have sin in our lives, it opens up the connection for God to move. God creates a spiritual presence in us that allows us to see sin more clearly. Just as a cat instinctively will track its prey, once God's spirit is inside us it will guide us to a stronger connection with God. Sin blocks that connection and without it we are blind.

I remember a time, back in high school, where I thought God had completely abandoned me. I had lost the presidency for our high school band. In one class period, I went from being president, where I felt like I belonged, to nothing (or so I thought). I had prayed for Jesus to help me win, it was my desire to belong, so God would grant me the desire of my heart. Well, God did not grant me my desire, nor did it feel like he was involved. How wrong I was.

I remember being completely crushed, I wanted to quit, I even tried to transfer schools, and I felt betrayed and abandoned by God and my classmates. However, God was in the process of granting my desire, while I thought I needed that position to belong, God was preparing me another place, in his kingdom. But of course, I slowly drifted away from going to church (I was very young in the faith), I went back to being with my friends who were "cool", but the feeling of belonging was not fulfilled. Thankfully, my youth pastor noticed and invited me to go on a mission trip. I had one requirement, my friend Nicole would go. The short story is that Nicole got in trouble and couldn't go, so I went because I had already paid the non-refundable deposit. At this point though, I was sure God was not answering any prayer because now the one requirement I had was removed.

I went on that mission trip, to the Crow Indian Reservation in Montana. I also discovered that this was the place God wanted me to belong (I didn't really make the connection until months later, hind sight is always 20/20). Since I was one of the oldest I quickly took on a leadership role, and eventually I became a co-leader of that group. Had I become band president my senior year, I know I would've had no time to help with the youth group, which was something that not only prepared me in many more areas of life and faith, it also had a more influential effect.

While I thought, that God was just standing there letting me make mistakes, in reality he was reaching out to me. Through my youth pastor, to-be friends in the church (albeit I wasn't not very open to hearing from them since I was not a part of that group) God was reaching me. They wanted to help, and this was God's way of reaching me. I've learned over the years God uses people to reach people. I am very honored to be on the other end now, it is also a very humbling experience and if I am not careful, I can be discouraged. While I miss my friends very much and the deep relationships that are built on Jesus, I know I am here to serve and experience God directly now that I know he is always with me. None of this is because of who I am, it is all because of who God is.

I love the new Blogger profiles! Did you know that by clicking on one of your interests, movies, music listings, location, etc Blogger will list people with matching items? It is so rad I have already found so many neat people. I don't know what I'm going to do; my blogroll is already way to long. So for now I'll just plug a few of the people I've ran across.

Vin Thomas via "Wild at Heart" - Vin Thomas
Luaren (whom totally reminds me of my friend Lauren Rimkus!) via "Switchfoot" - Whoa Kids
Joshua via "Switchfoot" - 4given

PS. I don't know what is going on, but I can't access Haloscan. Apparently there is something wrong between here (in Poland) and there.

For my Alexis,

So this is love, Mmmmmm
So this is love
So this is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow, Mmmmmm
And now I know
The key to all heaven is mine

My heart has wings, Mmmmmm
And I can fly
I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky
So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of
Mmmmmm
Mmmmmm
So this is love

Sometimes I'm not so sure technology is worth the frustration. Give me some feedback on this new design... I'm not too sure I like the colors, but I'm not really excited about creating all the rounded corners myself. I promise I'll post something a bit more intresting tomorrow (um... I mean today).

Over the next 24 hours be prepared for delays, detours, and chaos around here. I'm taking advantage of this new Blogger so, a complete redesign is on its way.

Hmmm... I'm testing the blogger comments... but so far I don't like them... they don't fit my style nor do they look all that great... :(

Update: Okay, I've been able to play around a little bit and make it work a bit better... now they just need to add trackback. Is it just me, because I can't seem to access haloscan at all! :@

I have friends here, but sometimes good old friends are just needed. I just want to sit around in a living room and play games again with people who I know all share the same passion for Jesus. I want to have spontaneous worship on the waterfront again, just because my friends and I felt like it. I want the feeling of learning from each other because we want to know Jesus more and we want each other to know Jesus more too! I want to be face to face with other guys talking about guy things because we want to be more like Jesus. I just need my old friends. I need them for my sanity and I need their love.

Oh Lord, let your will be done, if it is your will for me to be in Poland I know you know what is best. However, I am desperately asking that I am not alone, that a whole group of friends could come here for your work. I am asking, no, simply begging, that a team be possible. In Jesus name, make it so.

I just read a thought provoking post over at Skywalking about a pastor who attended the national pastor's conference in San Diego. The pastor quotes an underground pastor of a church near Afghanistan. The underground pastor begs the conference attendees to reelect Bush because since Bush has been in presidency the persecution of Christians in his nation has dropped dramatically because his government is afraid to upset the American administration. Under Clinton, the church was persecuted heavily without any fear. Read the pastor's words for yourself. There may be many political reasons as to why someone does not want to reelect President Bush, but as Christians, I believe we have a higher calling. As a Christian, I am reminded that God is fully just, that President Bush is held to a very high degree of accountability by God almighty. If the President does not seek God's will, yet he is a professing Christian, then he is headed for a lot of trouble, and that is enough for me to be at peace.

Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged by God with greater strictness. We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way.
[James 3:1 & 2]

Preach the word of God. Be persistent, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to right teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever they want to hear. They will reject the truth and follow strange myths. [2 Timothy 4:2-4]

I am incredibly embarrassed by the horrible acts some of our soldiers have done to Iraqi prisoners. These "soldiers", if you can call them that, do not deserve anything less than being shipped back and imprisoned themselves. I know there must be good soldiers out there, there must be real soldiers of integrity, where are the news stories about these people? Oh yeah, people don't care about the man (who is the highest ranking official of the army) who went to an army hospital and not only saluted a soldier who had lost his right hand, but shook the stump, knelt down, asked for forgiveness, prayed, and then kissed the young soldier on the forehead. It makes me so mad that our society is only fired up when injustice occurs and does not even blink when it comes to great acts of love.

I am just now grasping a lie I have unknowingly agreed to. The saying "Pride comes before the fall" is an absolute truth. I have actually been proud of my "humbleness". This pride has kept me from connecting with people. I have actually been thinking, "I am so much more humble than that person" why can't that person just humble his or her self? Humility is much more than just admitting you're weak, it's admitting you need help and you are not better than anyone else. Being humble is much more than simply saying "oh now I don't deserve that". In fact I would say it isn't saying something like that, it is having the ability to accept your weakness and allow God and others (through whom God works) to help you.

In my prideful humility I thought I was being weak to be strong… In God's humility, admitting your weakness allows his strength to work in your life. Do not try and be strong, do not try to fight the fights of this world in your strength, you can try and try, but you will fail. I will never (at least never intend on) doing things in my own strength anymore, it is too much. I ultimately fail, and I usually fail by sinning, which either hurts myself, another, or dishonors God.

I had a great day today with Paulina, Anna, and Chris after church this morning we went for a walk in the national forest behind my apartment. Then we had lunch, and later on we all went to Sabina, Carol and Denise's house and played Cranium and watched "Courage under fire".

I'm sleepy, I haven't talked to Alexis since last Thursday, and I have to get up in less than eight hours. However, I'll be seeing Leah tomorrow and the salt mines near Krakow with Leah and her mom.

Now I am going to try and call Alexis, have a nice day. Goodnight.

Ten new nations joined the European Union today, including Poland. Five of us (3 Poles and 2 Americans) enjoyed a wonderful spring day driving around, we went to the high Tatra Mountains of Slovakia (see pictures below). It was interesting to see that the fence which use to be at the border is now gone, although they are still checking passports at the border (over time this will be gone too). The EU flag was flying everywhere all over Poland and Slovakia. Later in the evening we spent some time in downtown Zakopane, where people were celebrating with family (today is also Poland's Labor Day). It was neat just to observe it all.


Gondola ride up the High Tatra's.


The amazing view looking up.


Kate, Sabina, Paulina - the view looking down and across.


Starting from the girl kneeling and going clock-wise - Sabina, Paulina, Me, Kate and the mountains behind us.


A popular Slovakian town, the rain was about to come, but I got this great shot just before.

I'm just praying, I once thought it was okay, but there is no way now. The unfortunate thing is that gay-marriage supporters think Christians hate homosexuals... WRONG... only some say that.