It is here, my birthday has suddenly snuck up on me, and I really do not know what to do. I do not have any plans, only to hang out with Alexis and Ryan, and later on, we will have our Young Adults meeting. I wish I could say I was excited, but it is really just a neutral feeling. At least I have one of the best blessings in my life here with me, and a really great friend too, that is a lot more than I figured I would have when I left just over six months ago! So, tomorrow I will be twenty-two.
Twenty-two years old, what does someone do at twenty-two? I have had an incredible life thus far. I had an alcoholic father, which my mom divorced before I had any memory, and then he died when I was five. I grew up in a small town, my mom remarried and we had a good family life, no evil "step-dad" that many people do experience. However, as most families, we had our dysfunctional parts, but now we all are growing closer. My teen years were rough, with sexual abuse, identity issues, and the other "normal" teen issues. Then I found God, God's love, and the love he showed through his people completely engulfed me. I was blessed with a very well paying job, my own apartment, a new car, and the ability to afford the car, all of this, and I don't believe in the whole "health and wealth" junk that some churches preach. Now I am living on the opposite side of the world, where I have none of that, none of those people at an easy reach. I have many cultural things to figure out, and many other things to figure out. However, the intimacy I have with God is ten times more than I could ever imagine before. I feel my life is much richer. For being only twenty-two, life has offered me a lot, and I can only imagine what God holds for me in the future.
Something which has become very true lately, however, it is strangly refresshing!
O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your rage. Have compassion on me, LORD, for I am weak. Heal me, LORD, for my body is in agony. I am sick at heart. How long, O LORD, until you restore me? Return, O LORD, and rescue me. Save me because of your unfailing love. For in death, who remembers you? Who can praise you from the grave? I am worn out from sobbing. Every night tears drench my bed; my pillow is wet from weeping. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my crying. The LORD has heard my plea; the LORD will answer my prayer. May all my enemies be disgraced and terrified. May they suddenly turn back in shame. [Psalm 6]
