The way I spend my time has a large influence on my attitude and overall mood. If I spend my time with a people who I do not have a personal connection with, then I find myself getting easily annoyed and quiet. However if I spend time with people who are edifying, encouraging, and really want to build a connection, I don't mind spending hours and hours with them. Sometimes it is so tempting to just put myself in a little Christian bubble, with all my friends who I know inside and out, who share the same values, and share the same drive to live for Christ. Here in Poland I do not have that, at all, as much as I am trying to develop that, I realize what I had in Seattle was nothing short of a blessing. Having Alexis here has only increased this longing for the kind of fellowship I had. I realize this is where God wants me, even though I do not have that kind of fellowship here, I now have a deeper connection with God - which I believe has been his main goal for me.
I have fellowship with God now, I do not mind my alone times. If I were to explore this subject just three months ago, I know it was different; I was so lonely and yearning so hard for that fellowship and those friends. Now, I can easily be by myself all day. Of course, I still love those people, and I know that having friendships is not only important, it is a huge blessing. However, I know when I cannot find anyone to do something with, or life is just hectic, being alone is good, being alone is my time with God, and it is wonderful. I think right now, not because of Alexis (I could easily spend more time with her), but for other reasons, God time is what I need to be recharged.
Lord I want more of You
Living water rain down on me
Lord I need more of You
Living breath of life come fill me up
We are hungry
We are hungry
We are hungry for more of You
We are thirsty, oh Jesus
We are thirsty for more of You
We lift our holy hands up
We want to touch You
We lift our voices higher and higher and higher to You
We lift our holy hands up
We want to touch You
We lift our voices higher and higher and higher to You
[Passion - We are Hungry]