food for fish

You have helped, made me think, rethink, and have changed my mind.

Okay first I�m going respond to each comment I feel I need to; in regard to my past few posts. Then I�m going to return to my previous format, because for some reason I lost it back there a few days ago, and I �spoke� with out thinking, and made my self look like an idiot. Although I still believe what I wrote, it made me look bitter. But I�m not sorry about it or ashamed, in fact I�ve grown, this is one of those life lessons which I hold dear to my heart, I�m so thankful that I know Christ, otherwise my life would be pointless.

Regarding the �To whom this may concern� post and comments. This posting was in response to something which God has been laying on my heart, I felt the need to tell someone (no one specifically) that once God becomes your number one love and foundation, and he is the center of all your relationships, then you will experience his awesome love.

In response to �Again, are you telling me that I shouldn't react the way that God made me to react? Isn't it defying his infinite wisdom to tap into that instead of using what he gave you?� As you may eventually learn, God didn�t make us to react in any way at all. It�s true he created us, our souls, our physical body for here on Earth, our spirit and our mind, but he did not create our reactions, we learn as we grow up how to react to certain things, because of the original fall of Adam and Eve, we are separated from God and must grow near to him, so we may be changed by him. We have our own wisdom separate from God�s, which people have created, through all the bible (written by humans, inspired by God, written in the culture of the time) we are reminded that God�s wisdom is separate from our own, we must strive to receive his. God gave us the ability to choose our own ways. He did this because unless we have the ability to choose our own way, how are we to truly love him?

In response to
�Let me tell you something you don�t want to be told� posting and comments. I know this sounded insensitive, it wasn�t meant for pre-Christians, and I completely understand that some people have things which have happened to them in the past which may make it harder for them to change and be more Christ-like, I myself was sexually abused and molested, which has made lust a huge problem for me, but I am overcoming it (which means I�m still dealing with it, but it�s become a much smaller issue) because I took the step to change, I decided it was not good for me, and I gave it up to God, instead of leaning on my own wisdom.

Response to:
��...your not letting the Holy Spirit guide you, your still in control.�

Wait, I'm confused here, are you actively telling me to give up my will to God? I'm wondering how you can preach about the evils of other people if you blind yourself to seeing any evil or good other than what your religion (note: not God) tells you to see?�

Hopefully my response above explains some of this, but let try and answer this question specifically. Yes I am saying that if a Christian (someone who can confess that Jesus Christ is their Lord and savior, who died on the cross and rose again and is the Son of God and has received the Holy Spirit or wisdom of God) gives up his/her plans to God for the guidance and wisdom of God he/she will experience the awesome grace and mercy of God. I�m sorry you see me as a �religious� person, in fact because of that remark, I�ve been thinking the last couple of days, and have been asking my self �am I religious or Christ-like� I hope that I am Christ-like, Christ�s character is the only thing I strive for, but because I am human, I can not become perfect as Christ, but I can always strive to be like him, but I will always need him because I can not be him. The word religion rings �legalistic� in my mind, I don�t want rules and regulations, before I was Christian that�s what I thought Christianity was all about, rules and regulations, IT IS SO NOT! I have found that because I�ve began to follow Christ, and become more like him, I have stopped doing some things, and started doing others, it has nothing with doing what�s right or wrong, it�s all about Jesus, he came not only to take our sins away, but to lead us, and give us an example, he broke many of the religious rules, he made all the religious leaders of the time angry, because it�s not about rules and regulations and being good and making sure that we are more good than bad, it�s about our hearts, where they lay in God�s eyes, our hearts.

Now for the �I�m passionate, so shoot me� post and comments. I know that if I am passionate about something, people will debate and argue, to be honest the only reason I posted this, was to draw attention, I was really feeling attacked or anything, I just wanted people to think, and a little bit of it was just to whine, I�m human, and I�ve already changed my mind on this, and wish I hadn�t posted it, but oh well.

In response to:
�Passionate people are always shot.

Welcome to my life.

Why is it that you can go off on stuff but when i do i'm shot down like a duck in Duckhunter? I'm not criticizing you personally Travis, you don't do that, but let me tell you it happens a lot more than anyone thinks. so just prepare yourself, if you are going to be passionate about anything, especially something that many of your friends have issues with, you're asking to be screwed and left in the dust. all unintentionally, of course, which is why it's so bad. yes i know i make no sense, and that i'm whining, but oh well, it's my day to whine.�

I think I am prepared, and that�s why I don�t feel like I was shot down. Of course if something is controversial then, your going to have some people shoot back, but if you respond in a patient and soft manner, then you can persuade someone, if it is in God�s will and your not trying to manipulate.

And onto the next: �Liberal Christianity� to be honest, I was quite tired when I wrote this, so I don�t think it�s very well thought out, so forgive me on that part. I was just trying to (and I don�t think it achieved this at all) point at that our Liberal society (at least in my experience in the Seattle area) has persuaded Christianity off track, that we need to find balance, we tend to lean one way or the other, w/o looking for the biblical reference points. I feel like I�m writing rebuttals for a voters pamphlet.

Comment: " that�s because after knowing Christ I had a solid truth to stand on, to compare and analyze everything against."

Hmmm, interesting thought, but isn't faith, by definition, a train of thought that you come to believe without a solid truth for it stand on? So how is it that Jesus is a solid truth?

My first response: Good question. Faith is a train of thought to believe with out physical evidence, but the things which Jesus taught (and through out the rest of the bible not just the Gospels), are just instructions for living life, IE: Love your neighbor, Love the LORD, A foolish person gets angry when insulted a wise person listens and learns and changes... the little things. That's what I meant by following, his words; his words are true to my life, which, you could say is liberal. It's an idea, in my experience, and my understanding that I find true.


I guess you have to assume that Jesus is real, which if you don�t know Christ, you can�t know that he is real. So, with that assumption Jesus is a solid truth. I�m not an expert in scientifically proving that Jesus Christ is real, but there is an excellent book called �The case for Christ� which was written by a scientist (an anthropologist, I think?) who originally set out to dis-prove the bible and Jesus Christ, and in the end, became Christian. I read parts of it once before I was Christian, and now I�m reading it again as a Christian, it�s great.

Thanks for reading, I love every one of you who comment and visit, you help me strengthen my knowledge and my ideas. I am completely open to debate, and questions, it�s what I strive for, to be stretched. But I know that no matter what, I will never forget the black void experience.


.:prayers; prayer requests:.

Hey God,

Thank you for just being here in my life at all times. I realize that I may have stepped out of your will recently, but you know where my heart is, and I NEED to continue and change that. Thank you for bringing my brother one step closer to you, one step closer to your light. Thank you for providing me with the accountability I NEED, I also pray for your wisdom and guidance. I ask for the oppurtunity you presented today at work to show again, and this time I want to harness the power you have given me to speak of your awesome love, I want to be a light to everyone, and that means telling them why i'm going to Poland, the real reason, not the worldly reasons. Thank you Lord. So be it.

And I leave you with, this little tid-bit I just read from "one word" (see the departures section to the right)...

Circle. God moves us in circles, as opposed to straight lines. Even His Son traveled a circle, from heaven, to earth, to the Cross, resurrected, back to heaven. At the lowest point of the circle, there is good news! You're on the way back to the top! Often we look for straight lines in life, for the follower of Christ just look for the next step, and recognize there is a circle...that leads Home.