food for fish

This morning I fell. I feel like I�m in a trap which is impossible to get out of. The temptation is just too great. For I know my father has given me the power to remove my self, but I my self, keep falling. I know it is wrong when making the choice. I justify it in my mind, but my heart refuses to justify it. For on my heart is written right and wrong.

Then I fell again. I know I should just get up and go, but I�m too lazy, and the bed is much to warm. The clock says it is 58� in my room! So I sit there, letting all kinds of thoughts enter my head. Finally after I fall, I remove myself and get ready for the day, I was suppose to be at work by 7:00am, but I left for work at 9:40am. Why do I do this, because I�m lazy and have no one questions where I am.

On my way to work, I beat my self up for these fallings. Soon after, the CD I�m listening to runs out, and the next one comes on. It is worship, and it reminds me that I am forgiven; I need to forgive my self. Although I continue to repeat this pattern of �morning� sickness, I also know that my Father will forgive me. When get to work, I take up my list of things to do, and I do them, and I actually try to not shortcut like i've been doing recently. I've been wanting to do my tasks as if I'm doing them for the Lord, but I find my self in a zone when I arrive at work.

I need to be accountable, that is why I have started this Blog. I have created a �virtual� accountability. For anyone who wants to read this, hold me accountable. If you read this, and see other patterns which do not fit into Christ�s character, please feel free to tell me, for we are in this journey only to become closer to Christ, and more like him. We are also in this journey to share the love of Christ to others, and to do that, we need to be challenged.

.: prayers, prayer requests :.

Lord you are the most high, nothing can be put higher than you! Even your name is the most awesome thing known to man. I ask all that follows in your name...

I have been writing drafts of my support letter for my mission trip to Poland. I am having anxiety over the response of my co-workers and some of my family. I pray for people to understand the joy I hope to show the young adults of Poland.

I pray for my �fellowship� of friends, I pray that they continue to seek and to know God as he is.

I pray for one particular friend, I ask for this friend to be overwhelmed by God�s presence. I pray for direction, and for this friend to see the love of friendship, although it may hurt right now.

I pray for another specific friend, I ask for direction in relationships and in self esteem.

I pray for my family, to ask and to know that HE IS GOD. To find his love, hope, and joy.

I pray for me and all of my brothers and sisters of Christ Jesus, that the Holy Spirit take control, fan the flames with in our souls, take control, strong fire burn, burn deep within our souls.

Lord, I ask for change... change our bad habits. I repent of the sins i've done, you know my heart Lord, it is steadfast for you oh Lord, but I keep on falling in to the same sin, I am stuck, help.

Lord, I give thanks to you. For only you truly know where I am, I thank you for this blogger deal, it forces me to think about you. Lord, I have had an awesome life, thus far, and I share with you everything I do, what I do is yours.

Freedom from Rules and New life in Christ� [Colossians 2:6-23]

And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to live in obedience to him. Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let you lives overflow with thanksgiving for all he has done.

Don�t let anyone lead you astray with empty philosophy and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the evil power of this world, and not from Christ. For in Christ the fullness of God lives in a human body, and you are complete through your union with Christ. He is the Lord over every ruler and authority in the universe.
When you came to Christ, you were �circumcised,� but not by a physical procedure. It was a spiritual procedure � the cutting away of your sinful nature. For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to a new life because you trusted the might power of God, who raised Christ from the dead.

You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ. He forgave all our sins. He canceled the record that contained the charges against us. He took it and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ�s cross. In this way, God disarmed the evil rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross of Christ.

So don�t let anyone condemn you for what you eat or drink, or for not celebrating certain holy days or new-moon ceremonies or Sabbaths. For these rules were only shadows of the real thing, Christ himself. Don�t let anyone condemn you by insisting on self-denial. And don�t let anyone say you must worship angels, even though they say they have had visions about this. These people claim to be so humble, but their sinful minds have made them proud. But they are not connected to Christ, the head of the body. For we are joined together in his body by his strong sinews, and we grow only as we get our nourishment and strength from God.

You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from evil powers of this world. So why do you keep on following rules of the world, such as, �Don�t handle, don�t eat, don�t touch.� Such rules are mere human teaching about things that are gone as soon as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, humility, and severe bodily discipline. But they have no effect when it comes to conquering a person�s evil thoughts and desires.