Listening to: All I Bring - Jonny Diaz -
I hate it when I doubt life, God, and people, all it does it put me in a funk, and God knows that a Travis funk is no good. When I doubt the world turns into one big negative rant after another. Normally my doubt is caused by the after effects of some kind of sin, I begin to wonder if I truly am really in a close relationship with God or not, and this is nowhere for me to be even going. I constantly think about Paul when he wrote to the Romans and said, "When I want to do good, I don't. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway." [Romans 7:19] and 2000 plus years later we still wonder why we do things I know we should not.
I mention this because I have come to realize that God does not want us to doubt Him, for if we doubt Him we miss what he wants for us. In addition, doubting leads to disobedience, and disobedience leads to sin, one big vicious circle. This past weekend I was at a college retreat with about 25 other college-aged people, the theme was "wanting more" and boy did we get more of Christ, more than many of us have ever experienced. God used many of us to encourage one another, direct one another, and correct one another in many areas. When it came my turn to receive prayer God spoke and said that my doubt has been holding me back, in ministry, relationships, and most of all my walk with Him. I don't want it, I reject the doubt, and I will have faith to move past it and see what happens, if it's wrong I'll find out and learn, but if I don't try I'll never learn. In the end it comes down to obedience… Abraham obeyed and sacrificed His son, and God honored that. I have not done anything as extreme, but I know God has plans just as strange for me, and for all His children.
But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. [James 1:6]
