food for fish

So here I am sitting in a neat little café in Gresham Oregon, just looking out onto Main street (actually it's Main Avenue, but whatever) wondering and processing all the different things and ideas I have learned about this past week. Different things from what my generation needs from the church to what God is doing with my generation and the apparent lack of man to understand what that is.

I am also looking for different Jobs in the Gresham/Portland area, but my heart just wants to focus on ministry. Our weekly schedule makes it very hard to work enough to be able to focus on ministry and not money. I have complete faith in God that I will have enough, but I need to do my part and at least look into all the opportunities. There are so many hurt people in the youth group and college groups that my heart cries out and when I think about working I just can't even stand the thought because it would mean working in the very little off time that I do have.

The Schedule is:
Currently I have school on Mondays from 1pm to 10pm, Tuesdays I have a mandatory (at this time, possibly if I work it'll be different) bible-study at 8pm, and high-school ministry (which can't be changed) from 3pm to 10pm, on Wednesdays Jr. High ministry is from 3pm to 10pm, and on Thursdays we have a 9am meeting, a 12pm meeting, and college ministry from 3pm to 10pm, and on Fridays we have school from 9am to 10pm with 2 hour breaks for lunch and dinner. This schedule makes working a little difficult, I could work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, possibly Thursday mornings with approval, and Saturday or Sunday days (I would like to have two free days, but I refuse to work everyday).

Some think I am being fussy with the kind of work I want to do, it pretty much needs to involve networking and technology, mostly because than I know I could work fewer hours but still get paid a decent wage. If I worked something else, I would have to work every possible hour (in turn burning me out, and leaving no time to study). However, I truly believe that I will find a job that will support me and not burn me out if I stick it out and keep on looking and knocking on the doors that God directs me too. Please keep this in your prayers, so far, I am financially okay, but by Mid-October I must have some income otherwise this kid is in trouble… But I serve the God who is not short of cash, amen? AMEN!

Alexis and I started school on Monday, it's awesome, the instructors are great, knowledgeable, and passionate about Christ. The internship program is keeping us busy, last night was our first night at the high school service, about 150 high schoolers, the message was on encouragement and I really enjoyed it. Life, now that is a big subject, let's just say it is busy, full of twists and turns, but most of all full of great things.

If anyone is curious about how I am doing in regards to some past issues, let it be said here, that I am on the other side of the fence, finally, however temptation never stops. I feel good and strong about myself, about my sexuality, and about my relationship moving forward with Christ at the center. I cannot even start (because I don't have the time) to tell you about the blessings I am experiencing. Please keep Alexis and me in your prayers, as together and individually as we walk in this new area of our lives. Thanks!

I have been a transient for TWO months now. I've been living on couches and out of my suitcases for two months. I'm tired, and I'm ready to settle again! Hopefully I have only 1.5 more weeks to go, then I'll have a bed, a dresser, and a place to call my own, for a full two years! AMEN to that! I'm tired, and in less than nine hours I'll be throwing the left-overs of a basement into a huge dumpster. Good night.

Hello. Alexis and I have been in Gresham Oregon since Saturday. However we don't have Internet access at our houses... yet. School starts this coming Monday and then ministry the following Monday. Gresham is a cool little town though, right now I am writing this from Alexis' new laptop (I left mine back at the house) in a cafe which has FREE wireless Internet access, how incredibly cool is that! Anyway, as soon as I have regular Internet access again then you'll get the daily updates again. I miss blogging, it really has helped me process things, and the past Month I have had a ton of processing to do!

Oh, and by the way, I am completly broke, I paid. tuition today, God totatly came through (as if he never did) I thought I would have to borrow $200 from Alexis because last night when I went to register for classes they told me my financial aid information never went through and so I didn't get any, but today as I went to pay the stopped me and said it did go through, and I will be recieving $200/quarter... exactly what I needed for this quarter. AMEN. But for the next five quarters I have to be able to save $2000 for each quarter, that means I have to make at least $1000/month... I'm on a limb.

Today Alexis and I are hauling out, down south to Gresham Oregon (an eastern suburb of Portland). We've got a u-haul full of stuff on top of the things we took down earlier this week. I'm even bringing my cat, although we are not sure what we'll be doing with her, hopefully because I am sharing a basement with just one other guy she (the cat) can stay with us. If you could keep us in your prayers it would be really nice. It's been stressful lately with packing things up, having to get a million things done, and for me living on a couch for a month has taken its toll. We are looking forward to this blessed time and I know that if I look for God's work I will find it and be blessed.

Sorry for the lame updates but this isn't lame at all. Two of my bestest friends, John and Jen got engaged today! I'm so excited for them, they rock.

I have way too much stuff. I cannot believe the amount of stuff that I have acquired in just four years that I have been living out of my parent's house. Right now I have five medium, one small, two large, one extra large box full of my things, and there is more to come. This of course does not count the eleven pieces of large furniture and all the kitchen stuff. All this for just one single guy, the day I have a family is surely going to be the day I simply higher movers or the local youth group. Anyway, one more week until Alexis and I move to Portland Oregon, and she has five boxes of her own.

Life is so much more interesting to talk about in a public forum when you've got a schedule and see more than just one or two people a day. Let me just say that waiting to get back into ministry, school, and have a job again is not exciting. There are some nice sides to it like getting to sleep in until you feel the sun beaming down on your face and going to bed when you actually feel tired and not because you know you'll regret getting up if you don't go to bed at a certain time. Then reality hits in when you logon to the banking website and see that no money is coming in and you know you will not have any for another month or so.

Some people might begin to second-guess my decisions because before I went to Poland I had it good. I was making a very comfortable amount of money for being just 21. I had a large amount of money in stocks, bonds, and mutual funds, and I was putting away almost $500/month into different kinds of savings account. Then God called me to a place of dependence, and that place was Poland. I raised money for a year, through support letters and speaking in different churches. Then I left and served for a year with young adults and helping a new church plant. In that year I always had enough money to live and sometimes bless others who otherwise wouldn't have had enough.

Now I am leaving for Portland, to go to school, where I am only allowed to work 12 hours a week in probably just a minimum wage kind of situation. I am using all of the money from my stocks (not my retirement) to pay for tuition, and I am getting financial aid, but I still do not have enough to pay for more than two quarters. I am now seeing that God is calling me to be more faithful, trusting, and to live on the edge. I do not know why He is calling me to these kinds of places, I wish I knew what he were preparing me for, but I know that wherever He leads me the rewards will be great.