food for fish

I think many people do not know how to be real, and for me it is a bigger problem when we are Christian. We have to look into our own lives and recognize the things that we know do not honor and Glorify God. We have to be authentic with our feelings towards others and ourselves. We cannot be super nice to a person at church and then treat them or talk about them as if they did not exist on other days. If we are to truly be Christ like it means being consistently real. If you read through all the gospels you'll realize that Jesus was the same in all circumstances. Jesus did not treat anyone differently just because they were at church, or just because they were Pharisees. Neither did he act any different around those people, his behavior was the same at all times. He is not afraid to do what is right. We should not be afraid either.

I know that I have some areas to work at in my life. There are times where I act different to impress someone, although it is fairly rare because I hate acting different than who I really am. But sometimes it just seems that for my own good I need to be a certain way, when in reality it isn't for my own good. When I do that I am letting that person control me and oppress who I really am, and I don't believe that God honors that. I have to be the person God made me and not let others mold me, except for God himself.

I've been neglecting a lot (sometimes disguised as procrastination) of important things these past few weeks. I haven't had a single quiet time with God since I returned, I haven't ridden my bike (mostly because I didn't get it back until this past Friday), I haven't blogged much, but most of all I haven't sought after my God. I've just been winging it, flying by the seems of my pants, letting the wind carry me from one place to another. This is fine for a while, but at some point I have to get on track and seek. I have to make choices to do things even when I do not feel like it, and I have to think about others and what I can do for them, I need to seek humility and correction, I need to see my God. I want to bless my God and I want to bless my people (my people would be those who are around me). Yet I find myself being selfish and centered on my needs, which is not right nor is it how I will find my God.

I am so blessed to have friends, family, and others who truly Love God, Love Others, and Love me. Many of them are too nice to tell me what I need to look at in my life, but thankfully I am convicted of things in my life to change just by the way they live. I want to know what I can change, I want to know where I fail to be a blessing unto God and people. I don't want to neglect anything, but I have a horrible character flaw that unless I have some official role or I know that I'll "get something" out of an event or situation I will neglect it until the last possible minute. I hate this pattern but for some reason it seems to repeat itself over and over in my life. The Lord gives and takes away, I pray that he takes this away from me and gives me the desire to serve and love with out expecting anything for myself.

Hello world... Testing my mail to blogger feature to see if it is working yet... Tip has been sent from my cell phone

I realize that I have not really given a good update on my life. So here goes…

Just two weeks ago, I returned from a one-year mission experience in Zakopane Poland and I raised money for one year before hand (and worked and went to school during that year). While I was in Poland, I received monthly support for field ministry. In March, a pastor from Easthill church in Gresham Oregon visited us in Poland. He told me about a program his church has started called "The International Training Program", this program involves two years of schooling and ministry interning. I thought about this program for a while but figured that it would be a bit hard to come home and leave for the Portland area in a matter of four weeks. I ended up seeing this Pastor again at a European youth camp in The Netherlands. This time we talked and I took a step of faith to go, so I am going.

I returned on the 8th of August to Seattle, and I leave for Gresham sometime before the 15th of September. I have one more month of support money coming to help with the transition period and I have taken a couple of side tech jobs. Alexis is also going (on her own prayerful will), this is her last week of working at Kindercare (which she is very excited about). When I get to Gresham I will be seeking a "regular" job in the tech field (I was a network administrator for six years before I left for Poland), however the program limits us to only 12 hours of work a week since it s an intense program of ministry and schooling. I am excited and feel God completely blessing me all the way through. Just yesterday, some friends of mine gave me $600, which was just enough to pay for all the little things that needed to be taken care of. I am also using some of my savings, which I saved up when I was working fulltime prior to Poland, so that the money that people donate is used only for necessities.

I am attempting to find my groove around here. Since I have no job (and why would I when I'm leaving in just a few weeks), and I have no set schedule, it's a little hard for me to feel like I am accomplishing anything. I've sent off just about all the emails I could think of that I need to do and know what to say, and I've done a lot of little errands to pay off my state-side life (IE my car insurance $898, long story). However, I find myself still without many words to describe to people just what my time in Poland was. I want people to be excited to serve God and go difference places, not only for others but to seek a deeper relationship with Him through the experience of depending on Him. Yet I find myself with a shortage of words to inspire and motivate people. I am sure that in time the words will come.

Testing testing 123

Yesterday we (Alexis and I) got back from our little visit to Gresham, OR (a suburb of Portland) we had a great time meeting new people, catching up with other acquaintances and learning about our new adventure we are about to embark on. Basically a regular week will look like this, Monday - School all day (9 to 9), Tuesday-Thursday Ministry from 3pm to 10pm, Friday - School all day (9 to 9). So that doesn't leave much room for a job, except for the mornings Tuesday-Thursday and possibly the weekends (which I've always refused to work, but we'll see how it works out). It's a two year school/intern program where what we learn we apply in the ministry time. Both of us will be living in two separate intern houses (across the street from each other rather than across the world). These houses have a lot of character and a lot of potential (in other words a lot of work to be done).

So, the next two years are the beginning of a new season of life for both of us. We're both excited to serve, learn, and be a part of something moving forward. This whole thing should lead up to doing more work in and with Poland, if God willing. God has created an amazing adventure for us (us being all Christians) we just have to make the decisions to honor and glorify Him and what he does in our lives is so great and undeserved, yet he loves us to care about us in the smallest details.

I don't know when I'll be able to post again, I'm bumming my friend's wireless/broadband connection at the moment. Hopefully I'll be moving to some place with a better connection other than my parents house for the next few weeks before moving to Gresham. God has blessed us, now let us bless Him.

Yes, I went somewhere without telling many people again. This time Alexis and I are in Portland, only three hours south of Seattle not three days east. We are having a wonderful time, checking out and learning all about the school and program we will be going into in the fall. We'll be here through Tuesday. This is the first time my laptop has been connected since I got back, way to many emails, way to many blog updates. I hope when we return Seattle I'll have a better connection at the place I hope to stay at. Thankfully high speed will be available here in Portland. God is great, we are both excited and ready to see everything that God has in store for the next two years of our lives. We know it won't be a walk in the park, however whatever hardships and mountain top experiences we endure will only add to our character and build us up to be closer to God Himself. Thanks for reading and I promise that once I have a regular Internet connection I'll be back to full speed.

Just a quick note.
I surprised everyone and came back a week early! Surprise! I have been back since 2:00 AM Monday morning. Of course those in Poland have known for about six months. Anyway there's a lot to talk about but I'm on dial-up at my parents (not fun) and I have a lot of other things to do. I promise regular updates will soon come again.

I have much to say, but I know that few words are best. My heart will always be with all of the people I have come to know here. I will continue to pray for them, to listen to them, to talk to them and write them. I know that I will see them again, not just in this life but in heaven as well. I love these people and I want to see them be history makers for their land. I want to encourage them to seek God's word, truth, and most of all the fruits of his Spirit. Only when a person allows the Holy Spirit to be in control will you know love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). You cannot obtain these things on your own power, maybe some of them, but not all. Only when we seek to have them from God will we experience them in our lives. When we recognize this need, we will then be able to be a blessing to others.

I came here to learn about depending on God. Now I leave more dependent on God than ever before, yet enjoying life much more. I truly don't worry about tomorrow, I don't worry about any part of the future. The past five years of my life have been so unimaginable and adventurous that I no longer worry about how I'll be taken care of because God has provided everything. I know I have much more to learn, and life has a lot more in store for me. However, if there is one thing I have learned over this past year, it is do not worry and fewer words are best. I don't have to have the last word, I don't need to be systematic, and I don't need to be in control. God takes care of everything, if I expect, ask, or tell someone to do something and he or she doesn't do it, then that's a lesson for that person and whatever effect it has on me is a lesson for me. God's kingdom does not run like the world, he wants us to focus on our relationship with Him.

Denise has posted pictures from U-Turn Youth camp 2004 on her blog. Take a look, great stuff!

Hey Ya'll,

I'm back in Poland with almost a year behind me I have many things to say and a lot to process. However, I'm not in a write-about-it-all kind of mood so I'm just going to give you some highlights from the past week and some things for the future.

1. The week was absolutely amazing, for the Polish group we had some difficulties but in the end the group came together. There are specifically four young woman you could pray for because it seems they have a lot of hurt inside and the love of God scared them.

2. The rest of the group that went came back spiritually renewed and ready to learn and walk with Christ. One of which has been a prayer since about day one of my time in Poland. This person is now a completely different person and I can see the peace of God is beginning to take hold. I love this person so much and I am very encouraged.

3. You may remember Dan Russell who came and visited us in Poland back when Alexis was with me too. He spoke at the camp and I had a good couple of hours to speak to him and the director of his church's internship program. On September 15th Alexis and I are moving to Portland Oregon to go to school, learn, minister, and be trained for God's work. We believe this will lead us to a more permanent time in Poland in the future. The internship program is full time school and ministry, all meals are included, all housing is included, and most of all it's what God put on our hearts months ago. We are so excited. I'll of course miss Seattle, but at least for the next two years it will be much closer.

4. I am completly broke. I have $25 in my checking account, and over $400 to pay back on my credit card. I have over $150 in bills to pay back in Seattle (Car insurance, travel expenses, etc). I don't need a job now though! Amen. But it would be nice to be able to live for the month that I'll be in Seattle and to pay off all this credit expense before I leave for Portland. I also want to leave a blessing to some of the families here, so basically I am begging for money. PLEASE donate. Click donate below or use the PayPal link to the right.

5. Amen. Oh yeah, pictures will be up soon (I lost the cable to the my Digital camera).