food for fish

I know I can do the things that need to be done, but I just don't want to do them, but I want them done. Things like writing support letters, printing them, stamping them, sending them, buying everything that needs to be done for them. Scheduling time with people to talk about missions. The list could go on and on, I had plenty of time to do it yesterday after work, but since it was after work I was fried and simply wanted to rest, and that I did, sort of, if you call investigating ATSC and QAM HDTV signals resting... Tonight is booked, date time with Alexis, but I feel under preasure to get this done!

Just in case anyone forgets, we are moving to Poland, depending on God's timing anywhere from 4-5 years (or whatever He makes it). For some reason I have this thing inside, something that makes me think people don't care about our vision for Poland. I guess it's all of the "oh that's cool" reactions, with hardly (I'm counting 4 so far) anyone showing any more interest than they would a little child who wants to be an astronaut, and actually I feel like that child would get more attention. I'm stopping here, one because we're at a friends house, and two because I want to sound upset, well, because I am, and I do not want to cover it up with what I know is the truth. I know what the truth is, and I also know how I feel. All we want is to have some people show some strong interest in the vision. Remember I know the truth, I know that this lack of interest does not change our calling.

Father, hear our cry for this nation, raise up people to come along side with support and to support. Thank you for those that are showing more than a casual interest. We know it is your will, praise you Lord for who you are and all that you are doing now. In Jesus' name I pray for a passion of your name in Poland and for Poland. Amen.

Ugh... with everything I'm trying to do to stay sane, it seems it's making life go by even faster, but that's better than going by slowly, and depressingly... God has been pretty amazing, nothing really super-duper amazing, but steadily moving forward. Forward motion, one step at a time. I like this pace, it's so fast that I don't know what's going on, and it's not so slow that I get freaked out. It's good.

Of course I'll need to do some fine tuning, but I'll let it marinate at this pace for a little while longer. Actually allow some good habits to form and be habits, then I'll try some fine tuning.

I'm not sure how I feel these days. There is something that is a bit dry, yet when I scan my systems, most things are in check... yet I'm not content... what is the key to contentment? I'm not sure.